Only a Visiting Teacher?

We think that this calling is underrated; that we should be called to do much more! I mean, why should I be asked to just visit a sister’s home when my talents could be far better spent as in a higher calling? I can just see myself; the President of the Relief Society, awe yes, indeed. Ok, not really folks, I have a story that will show you why this is a great and wonderful calling in and of itself.
As a new member of the church, my world had come apart, crumbled bit-by-bit. My marriage , my life , and my religion was new as well.The loss of a loved one is difficult, to describe the loss of a child is insurmountable. Now, I know that as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are supposed to have a pretty good grasp of Eternity and the idea that families can be forever. However, understand, that I was a very new convert, and my expectations were already on pretty shaky grounds. I had just realized that the priesthood power, as great as it is, was not as powerful as I had been led to beleive. I heard many testimonies time and time again of miricles and heard powerful stories of how through preisthood blessings that when the life of a loved one hung between life and death…life won out. Well, for me, the answer was no. I just couldn’t buy that answer and could not buy into the entire premise either. I felt as if I had been mislead into beleiving a religion of lies! My son was gone—my faith shook, and my soul dead. My children well, I could not take care of me let alone them, I had gone into a talespin to beat all talespins, took my credit cards and maxed them out, quit going to church, stopped listening to the bishopric, home teachers, and anyone else who entered my home.

I would allow my visiting teachers to come, but would immidiately discount anything they would do or say. I, in a word, was done. My husband had quit inviting me to church either. I could see the sadness in his eyes every time he would get dressed and go without me—but without regard, I would pull the covers over my head, turn the other way, an go back to sleep.

Sundays I would go shopping, esspecially because I knew it was the wrong thing to do—because breaking the sabbath hurt the Lord! “Good, I thought, he hurt me!”
I blamed sisters in the ward, by saying the reason for my not attending was that they were snooty, or because they were all too easy to pass judgement on me and my children. It got easier and easier each week—

I did have to say, I did not revert back to drinking, or smoking, or drinking coffee or tea; funny huh? It was like a part of me wanted to remain in the gospel, to linger there and wait—wait for the rest of my soul to awaken again. Then one day, out of the blue, Sue, my visiting teacher, came for visit; it was not the usual Visiting Teaching visit either. She was also Ricky’s teacher at school, but that wasn’t the reason. My children loved her. Sue never patronized them, she has a way with them and well makes them all feel important and loved. She never discounted them for not being members of the church, those who weren’t and she never tried to drag them kicking and screaming into our religion. She just loved—unconditionaly.
Well, for some reason, she came over, I did need her that day, Barry had found out about the credit cards; this could have been the end of a beautiful marriage— I needed a friend, and my best friend was in California; a simple phone call was not going to suffice. I don’t mind saying this time, I was scared!
For most of my life prior to this one lying was the only way to survive. I had learned that telling the truth often put me in more dangerous possitions; my parents beat me, my teachers beraded me, and my ex-husband abused me in ways I still cannot say. So, why in the world would I tell this man the truth?
I had waited for all these months for that shoe to drop, and, I guess, because it wouldn’t on it’s own… I tossed it—hard! This was the only way I knew how to see if he truly loved me—for me.

Barry had went to the bank with the statements in hand, and had found out my lie. I waited knowing that when he came home this could possibly be the end. So many things popped into my mind that day, what really went through was that I deserved the worst beating ever! I didn’t get one. He came in, looked at me with eyes I will never forget—said he had to think, pray, and he’d return. I was never so scared in all my life!

Sue came in shortly after Barry had left, I fell to her waist ( which she is so small campared to me) and just sobbed… I spilled my heart and soul out to her. I Told her I needed help! She held me like a mother would hold an ailing child, so tender and loving. I brushed the tears from my eyes and went after my husband.

Barry and I walked and talked, I told him how sorry I was for the deciept, how I have been in such a fog after Bob’s death and that spending money helped ease the pain… He gently grabbed my tear soaked face, looked deeply into my red eyes and said—“I’m sorry, I never saw any of it, I’m so sorry!” Like any of this was his fault? There was so much this man could have and should have done…he didn’t. What in this world did I do to deserve such a man?

The next day, after Barry had left to Colorado on his run, Sue popped back over to check on me. I was still emotionally worn out but knew everything would work out just fine. We talked for hours, about why I had really been feeling out of touch. I blamed God, church, my new religion, the well- meaning women in our ward who tried to help me cope with my son’s death, and yes, my son as well. I was just angry—it is a part of grief, a very intricate part which most of us deals with everyday. There are a few big stressers in life that are difficult, moving, ( did that twice in three months) loss of loved ones ( lost my grandmothers and son, in three months) and getting married. (did that too!) Let’s not also mention that I had made some rather big changes in my lifestlye to boot! The converstation between Sue and I morphed, it grew to me asking what was the underlined reason for why I stopped going to church? I soon realizd the real reason is that it became comfortable to just—stay—home. Isolation feels good after a while, we learn to love the idea of wollowing in our pain and sorrow, so much so that it becomes easy to drag others in and attatch blame with it. I realized the only reason for me becoming inactive was a terrible sin, slothfulness. I was lazy.
Sue asked me what she could do to help me get to church? Tears fell once again as the burning in my bossom returned; I wanted to come back. The only answer I had for her was: “Can you give me a wake up call?” Bright and early that Sabbath morning I was up, showered, dressed and ready to face the morning! My hand waiting on the phone as it rang!
It was the best wake-up call ever; only a visiting teacher… As Visiting Teachers we do make a difference, we can change lives and help with life-altering decissions. Sue was my guide in the temple, I am forever in her debt. I love her for the spirit she has within and the guidence she recieves and heads from Heavenly Father.
This is one of the greatest calling we have in the church…



We think that this calling is underrated; that we should be called to do much more! I mean, why should I be asked to just visit a sister’s home when my talents could be far better spent as in a higher calling? I can just see myself; the President of the Relief Society, awe yes, indeed. Ok, not really folks, I have a story that will show you why this is a great and wonderful calling in and of itself.
As a new member of the church, my world had come apart, crumbled bit-by-bit. My marriage , my life , and my religion was new as well.The loss of a loved one is difficult, to describe the loss of a child is insurmountable. Now, I know that as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are supposed to have a pretty good grasp of Eternity and the idea that families can be forever. However, understand, that I was a very new convert, and my expectations were already on pretty shaky grounds. I had just realized that the priesthood power, as great as it is, was not as powerful as I had been led to beleive. I heard many testimonies time and time again of miricles and heard powerful stories of how through preisthood blessings that when the life of a loved one hung between life and death…life won out. Well, for me, the answer was no. I just couldn’t buy that answer and could not buy into the entire premise either. I felt as if I had been mislead into beleiving a religion of lies! My son was gone—my faith shook, and my soul dead. My children well, I could not take care of me let alone them, I had gone into a talespin to beat all talespins, took my credit cards and maxed them out, quit going to church, stopped listening to the bishopric, home teachers, and anyone else who entered my home.

I would allow my visiting teachers to come, but would immidiately discount anything they would do or say. I, in a word, was done. My husband had quit inviting me to church either. I could see the sadness in his eyes every time he would get dressed and go without me—but without regard, I would pull the covers over my head, turn the other way, an go back to sleep.

Sundays I would go shopping, esspecially because I knew it was the wrong thing to do—because breaking the sabbath hurt the Lord! “Good, I thought, he hurt me!”
I blamed sisters in the ward, by saying the reason for my not attending was that they were snooty, or because they were all too easy to pass judgement on me and my children. It got easier and easier each week—

I did have to say, I did not revert back to drinking, or smoking, or drinking coffee or tea; funny huh? It was like a part of me wanted to remain in the gospel, to linger there and wait—wait for the rest of my soul to awaken again. Then one day, out of the blue, Sue, my visiting teacher, came for visit; it was not the usual Visiting Teaching visit either. She was also Ricky’s teacher at school, but that wasn’t the reason. My children loved her. Sue never patronized them, she has a way with them and well makes them all feel important and loved. She never discounted them for not being members of the church, those who weren’t and she never tried to drag them kicking and screaming into our religion. She just loved—unconditionaly.
Well, for some reason, she came over, I did need her that day, Barry had found out about the credit cards; this could have been the end of a beautiful marriage— I needed a friend, and my best friend was in California; a simple phone call was not going to suffice. I don’t mind saying this time, I was scared!
For most of my life prior to this one lying was the only way to survive. I had learned that telling the truth often put me in more dangerous possitions; my parents beat me, my teachers beraded me, and my ex-husband abused me in ways I still cannot say. So, why in the world would I tell this man the truth?
I had waited for all these months for that shoe to drop, and, I guess, because it wouldn’t on it’s own… I tossed it—hard! This was the only way I knew how to see if he truly loved me—for me.

Barry had went to the bank with the statements in hand, and had found out my lie. I waited knowing that when he came home this could possibly be the end. So many things popped into my mind that day, what really went through was that I deserved the worst beating ever! I didn’t get one. He came in, looked at me with eyes I will never forget—said he had to think, pray, and he’d return. I was never so scared in all my life!

Sue came in shortly after Barry had left, I fell to her waist ( which she is so small campared to me) and just sobbed… I spilled my heart and soul out to her. I Told her I needed help! She held me like a mother would hold an ailing child, so tender and loving. I brushed the tears from my eyes and went after my husband.

Barry and I walked and talked, I told him how sorry I was for the deciept, how I have been in such a fog after Bob’s death and that spending money helped ease the pain… He gently grabbed my tear soaked face, looked deeply into my red eyes and said—“I’m sorry, I never saw any of it, I’m so sorry!” Like any of this was his fault? There was so much this man could have and should have done…he didn’t. What in this world did I do to deserve such a man?

The next day, after Barry had left to Colorado on his run, Sue popped back over to check on me. I was still emotionally worn out but knew everything would work out just fine. We talked for hours, about why I had really been feeling out of touch. I blamed God, church, my new religion, the well- meaning women in our ward who tried to help me cope with my son’s death, and yes, my son as well. I was just angry—it is a part of grief, a very intricate part which most of us deals with everyday. There are a few big stressers in life that are difficult, moving, ( did that twice in three months) loss of loved ones ( lost my grandmothers and son, in three months) and getting married. (did that too!) Let’s not also mention that I had made some rather big changes in my lifestlye to boot! The converstation between Sue and I morphed, it grew to me asking what was the underlined reason for why I stopped going to church? I soon realizd the real reason is that it became comfortable to just—stay—home. Isolation feels good after a while, we learn to love the idea of wollowing in our pain and sorrow, so much so that it becomes easy to drag others in and attatch blame with it. I realized the only reason for me becoming inactive was a terrible sin, slothfulness. I was lazy.
Sue asked me what she could do to help me get to church? Tears fell once again as the burning in my bossom returned; I wanted to come back. The only answer I had for her was: “Can you give me a wake up call?” Bright and early that Sabbath morning I was up, showered, dressed and ready to face the morning! My hand waiting on the phone as it rang!
It was the best wake-up call ever; only a visiting teacher… As Visiting Teachers we do make a difference, we can change lives and help with life-altering decissions. Sue was my guide in the temple, I am forever in her debt. I love her for the spirit she has within and the guidence she recieves and heads from Heavenly Father.
This is one of the greatest calling we have in the church…